[it started feeling like october...]

i have this weird thing where i get sort of kind of drunk and and i want to keep drinking because i want to get real with people and talk about things that i can’t otherwise and i just want to verbally say everything. oh god that’s redudnant. because sober the only way i can talk to people is if i don’t know them. i don’t know if that means i’m broken. or what. but, that’s what i am. and also i just want to have sex. but i want it to mean something. so i feel like really drunk i can maybe make it mean something? or at elast fool myself into thnking it does. and i want to keep drinking but people want to get sober because of classes which is the mature thing to do and i’m glad they’re in my life. because of these people i haven’t made mistakes. and that’s why i’m glad that i can get drunk because it’s safe here and i won’t do anything stupid. wahhha.